''Most people think of exercise as something that you should do, and it doesn't feel very good while you're doing it, and it's kind of a pain in the rear, and it takes too much time, and it hurts, but it's supposed to do all this great stuff.''

Sound familiar? Well, what if you could actually enjoy exercise and look forward to it every day? What if you could be your own personal trainer, learning to recognize your body's capabilities for strength and health? And what if you could create a flexible, fun exercise program of your very own - even if your idea of exerting yourself is opening the sunroof on your car?

Before you rush out and buy spandex leggings, join a spa/fitness club, or send for that ''Taebo'' tape, stop and sit down. Then, advises Robyn M Stuhr, an exercise physiologist and health promotion specialist at Virginia Mason Medical Center in Seattle, Washington, ask yourself two questions:

1. What is my motivation for exercising? Some possible answers: To feel more healthy, to get some time for yourself, to lose weight, to meet new people, maybe even to compete in a marathon!
2. What is my personal experience with exercise? The goal here is to discover the kinds of exercise that will give you a real psychological incentive to keep doing it.

''Putting exercise into your life takes a pretty thoughtful approach - looking at who you are, what your body is like right now, and being clear about what you want from exercise,'' Stuhr states. ''A lot of women don't do the right things and they get discouraged,'' she notes. When a certain type of exercise doesn't yield the right result, ''they either blame themselves because they don't think they did it well enough, or they think, 'This doesn't work.''

Making the right choices

In reality, different types of exercise yield different results. With a little clear thinking, you can choose exercise activities that fit who you are, and make the best use of your time. Here are some rules of thumb to help you get started:

1. To improve your overall health:

Accumulate 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity during each day: use stairs instead of elevators, park a few blocks from work and walk the extra distance at a brisk pace, go dancing, warm up on an exercise bike for 5 or 10 minutes a few times a day, play actively with your children.

''For someone who's doing nothing, that's my first approach,'' Stuhr explains. ''I'll tell her, 'Let's see if we can think of some ways in which you can increase the overall activity of your day, just to get you used to doing this stuff and improve your health.''

''Once you have the person a little bit more energized and aware,'' she continues, ''then you can move to that next step.''

2. To improve your cardiovascular fitness and stamina: Exercise aerobically, at least 20-30 minutes three days a week, at your target heart rate or at a moderate intensity level that challenges your body.

Aerobic exercise is steady, moderate, continuous exercise that uses the large muscles of your lower body. Brisk walking, jogging, cycling, and aerobic dance classes are all good aerobic activities. Stop-and-start sports, like tennis or racquetball, are not aerobic.

3. To burn fat, lose weight, and increase performance: Exercise aerobically at moderate intensity for 60 minutes, five days a week.

Studies show that the hour-a-day five-days-a-week regimen ''is most effective in helping people lose weight and keep it off,'' Stuhr says. Although you don't burn fat during those two additional exercise sessions, the extra exercise increases your overall metabolism and dramatically improves your body's ability to burn fat througout the day.

Stuhr also emphasizes that so-called ''spot reducing'' - just exercising one part of your body to try and lose inches there - does not work. Calisthenics and weight training are an important part of any exercise program, however.

''The American College of Sports Medicine now recommends doing some type of weight training activity at least twice a week,'' Stuhr points out. ''You can do a collection of calisthenics-type exercises at home from a videotape,'' she suggests or, if you want to lift weights but have no experience, check your local YWCA or YMCA for weight training class.

Making your body's muscles stronger - i.e, increasing your lean muscle mass - also slightly increasing your metabolism and makes it more efficient. Further, stronger muscles give you stronger bones and joints, a benefit that becomes extremely important as you age.

Gradual gain, no pain

Once you've thought through your goals and chosen some exercise you like, make sure you follow the next rule of thumb: Start gradually.

''It's human nature - you just want to get there, you want to be fit, you want to have the weight loss already, you want to do as much as you can as soon as you can,'' Stuhr says. Once people have made a decision to become more active, ''we usually have to hold people back at the start, instead of pushing them.''

This is not because women can't do it, she stresses. Women's cardiovascular systems can usually adapt quite well, but their musculoskeletal systems can break down if pushed too hard, too soon. ''It takes a little longer to get those joints and muscles and tendons and everything strengthened up.''

As a general rule, she says, ''I tell people not to increase the amount or distance by any more than 10 percent per week.''

If you do start out right, you'll see benefits right away.

''Increasing your level of physical activity can really do wonders in combating fatigue, amazingly enough,'' Stuhr says. Women and men report that exercise helps them fall asleep easier and sleep better at night, and it gives them a higher feeling of energy during the day. Exercise can also help relieve stress, providing an outlet for the ''fight or flight'' physical response that stress induces.

''People say that they feel most stressed when they feel most out of control,'' Stuhr comments. ''Just taking 15 or 20 minutes to get out of the house or office and go for a walk is psychologically a real positive time to recapture that sense of control - and to be somewhere that you don't have to deal with or think about or work with other people's problems.''

If your exercise program makes you feel fatigued - more than just a little tired - you're doing too much. Take it easier for a while, until you build your strength and stamina. And make sure you warm up before you exercise, to prevent injuries.

Regardles of the activity you choose, the exercise that fit into your life will bring you some unexpected bonuses.

''If can be a real self-esteem and confidence booster,'' Stuhr says. ''That in itself can end up being more important to you than the physical reason for why you got into it.''

Please remember: If you can - do!